Tag Archives: time together

happily ever after

Sure, we have some argument once in a while, but we manage to end them peacefully in a very short time.

After almost 10 month of living together we finally are a “match made in heaven” – I like this words I found in the dictionary and I really think it explains our time together.

But this leads to another “problem”. How can I continue this blog, when nothing “happens” any more?

My only idea is to stop writing for a while and continue when we start our family planning. It may not be the living together in the focus of these upcoming stories, but it also effects the way we will treat us.

So have a nice time and I hope to continue soon. ūüôā


incomprehension of priorities

I guess it is one of the given differences and I have to learn to live with it, but WHY does he have to play on his PC when we both have just a little time slot to attend on each other.

On Tuesday I met some former colleagues. When I returned he was busy, with his PC. It is OK that he not immediately jumps as I arrive, but he kept being busy until bedtime.

Yesterday he was out with his colleagues. It is important to him to get to know them better, maybe become friends. After work and before the evening program he came home to have dinner. He called on his way home and  him eating at home included me cooking a meal. I felt a little exploited but I did it because I expected him to spend his little time slot with me. But nothing, after having dinner he continued his PC game. Then he left to spend the evening without me.

In his defence he tried to enthuse me to play his game with him. I play some games, but I am simply not interested in this one. In his company “everyone” is playing that game. Maybe he felt like being put on the spot. I don’t know.

The game is not that bad, it is about building a rocket and sending it to the moon. But I have other stuff to do that is more important to me. He can do as he likes, but it would be great if we only have little time slots to do something with me. I have the feeling like we haven’t talked honestly in quite a long time now.

Today I am going to meet an old friend. So he has lot of time to play on his computer. When I told him that he made a very sweet sound that he prefers me to stay and keep him company or even better play with him.

But instead of me he will find a little present today. I ordered some special tea that we could not find anywhere here. He brought it from his last holiday and since then is swarming about it.

too busy

He is back. But we are too busy.

I didn’t miss him. I didn’t do half of the stuff I planned to when he was away. But I was busy with myself and it was OK without him. Now he is back. I first saw him when I came back from my exercise. We had over two hours before bedtime, but I had to take a shower, to eat, to recover. His mail-server seems to die so he had to do a back-up of his data. That’s why actually there were only a few minutes left to spend together before sleeping.

And it will go on like this for this week and maybe for this month, because it is pre- Christmas period. I have some friends to meet as a tradition of our friendship. My colleagues in work and also my company invited my for Christmas parties. Besides I have some days to work out of town. So I am busy and he has a similar schedule independent from my plans.

How do other people live that busy? I really start asking myself how other couples are satisfied with the little time they can spend with each other in such busy periods. For example my officemate: he commutes every day to work, he sometimes/often stays in town to meet friends in the evening, he has two little children and his wife. How can they spend enough time together? Are they both too busy to miss togetherness?

For me, and for us, I probably should reserve a date night again, so we have time for each other during this stressful times! Let’s see if there still is an evening not reserved in both of our schedules.

Babies everywhere – waiting for a compliment

This week was a little sad. Once again yesterday we sat in front of our PC and played this game.¬†I¬†went to sleep on my own, because I didn’t want to waste any more of my time and also because I was tired. I didn’t feel well, I couldn’t even pull myself together to go shopping, although it was planned.

Today I got up alone, too, and went to work a long time before him.

I am not sure if it is my perception, that I have become more sensitive about this issue, or my friends and colleagues also have grown up – but it is like it is all about babies now.¬†Friends just became parents or grandparents, showing off with baby¬†photos,¬†people on the street pushing buggies,¬†often with more than one child. Everyone and everywhere –¬†with babies.

It starts pressuring me. And I want to talk about it with him. But we don’t talk at all. I often ask about his day, but he is tired or prefers to play with his PC. He doesn’t miss a conversation with me. He should be aware that we haven’t finished this issue yet, because I told him so when we had one of our last big fights. Back than I refused to talk, because¬†I need to talk about this in peace. I want to tell him that I am ready if he is, that I don’t want to pressure him and that it must be a common decision. But also that I’m afraid if we just delay without time horizon that we will never be a family. I need a plan for our common future.

In a tensed situation or during a fight or in a bad mood I simply don’t want to talk about this. I planned to wait and after a couple of “good” days I want to find time and peace to start a conversation about family planning. But the chances obviously aren’t good. How can we get a child if we don’t manage to talk about the planning? It doesn’t match from the beginning. Slowly I become desperate. He senses my bad mood, but this is (as mentioned) a criterion for exclusion to talk about it.

Furthermore, I still/once again¬†miss¬†his appreciation. For over a week now I am waiting for a nice word, a compliment, anything sweet from him.¬†I also miss his interest in my day, my feelings. When I ask him i.e. to ask me, I does it, but he doesn’t act of his own accord. This is a big difference to me. And he doesn’t understand it. This also is a reason why I’m becoming¬†desperate.

work work dabu

I am dissatisfied, yes, I am.

Yesterday we didn’t even try to go to work (or training)¬†together¬†or home. Today I could not assert a separate alarm clock. It is always mine that rings, but at a time that suits him. So I‘m late in work what means that I have to stay¬†long, and I do not like it. Before he moved here and also afterward, when he didn’t had¬†his job yet, I started working at 6 clock¬†in the morning, and finished by 4 4:30. This was my routine and I liked it. He isn’t¬†an early bird and it takes him so much more time in the morning to get ready.

I would like some independence in this regard. Why should I always orient my day towards him? Because he is uncomfortable otherwise and I lack the strength to argue with him about this issue. No good reason for me.

In any case, he expects after work to rest. This is a point we often have argued about. I sleep at night and just want to use what little time between working and sleeping somehow.

At first he mainly complained that I did not leave him time to rest, but he claimed I could move and do as I want without restrictions. But in truth he still expects that I lay down with him, though it is none of my needs. And this issue is repeated about every day.

Yesterday I was able to motivate¬†him to play¬†a PC game¬†. We are in the same building game, sitting next to each other, but in reality have nothing to do with each other, because the map is so large that we never will¬†meet. I think computer games still are a waste of time, but it’s better than just lying around anyway.

How can I counteract this state? I would hope that we sit¬†down together¬†in the evening times¬†and talk about the day and other topics that might just pop up. Obviously it¬†does not work. If I want something from him, I have to make an appointment and sitting around and talking to me isn’t worth¬†an appointment to him.

Alternatively, I have to make me more appointments with other people. I would like to meet other people more often too, but it always becomes stressful too quickly. Because the job also is exhausting and I have to stay longer because of getting up later. This is especially in the winter months a problem when it gets dark earlier and I do not want to go running in the dark.

I need to find a better activity and time management, to stop myself from getting a zombie.

Family for a weekend

I was with my family last week. I helped my youngest brother to move out and on Friday I took my little favorite niece to come with me. He was informed and said it is OK to bring her. She is 6 years now, and a sweet little girl. I invited her before, but her mother, my sister wasn’t sure if she might be afraid.

Everything was fine. She even slept alone in the living room. She was neat and well-behaved.

On Friday we went to the amusement arcade. She never admit she was tired, but when I brought her to bed, she fell asleep within minutes.

On Saturday we went to an amusement park. She sat the first time on a horse back and also was not afraid to try a lot of fun fair attractions. I can’t go on roller-coasters, so I asked my boyfriend to accompany her. At last he invited all of us on a wild water slide. What I didn’t know, our boat was spun very much. He was sitting opposite to me, I was holding my niece. And I was crying. I latched onto the handle and my niece, but had to be careful not to bruise her. After surviving that slide, I had headache, I felt so sick, I just wanted to go home. He became wet and also wanted to go home. But the little girl wasn’t tired of this action. But she had to come with us. At home we cooked, ate and rested.

In my town there was a special night, where lot of tourist attractions, museums and other places were open during the night. We went there until 11 o’clock. Until the very end she was jumping around, just on the ride home she finally almost fell asleep. At home we just used the bathroom and then I brought her to bed, where she slept immediately.

On Sunday was our last day together, we went to a children’s playground. My boyfriend and I were quite tired, she was running and jumping around, requesting our help. In the afternoon I brought her home by train. I was really impressed and proud to have such a good niece.

Back at home, finally the two of us together. But I didn’t feel well. I said thank you for spending the weekend with us, because it would been OK if he met his friends instead. He said he likes the little girl, but she is very exhausting. I hope he still wants to have own children, because I enjoyed the time as fake family.

Even if it is true, I became sick because of a virus. That’s why I will spend the next days at home.

little lies without significance

I went to see my family. I have to work in this district and planned to stay one more day with my family. Then I decided to come here one day before, that was today. But I told him, I have to work here today too.

I lied. Because I don’t want him to reproach me that I have not enough time for him, that I’m so much away, that I just come home for sleeping. He will go to meet his family end of this month and stay there some days. I’m more than OK with this, I enjoy some time without him so much. I like to miss him. He doesn’t share this attitude.

It is not just this time, I also lied when I bought some equipment for paddling because I was embarrassed. It doesn’t make any sense, he would be more than glad to help my buy some paddling stuff, but for me it is kind of stealing his hobby, when it is getting important to me too. I also lied about still having contact (mails) with my exfriend, even when he told me he is OK with it (but doesn’t like it).

Lying is bad and I feel bad every time I “have” to. I want to be a good person, and a good girlfriend. He is so good, there is no use in not telling the truth.