I am dissatisfied, yes, I am.
Yesterday we didn’t even try to go to work (or training) together or home. Today I could not assert a separate alarm clock. It is always mine that rings, but at a time that suits him. So I‘m late in work what means that I have to stay long, and I do not like it. Before he moved here and also afterward, when he didn’t had his job yet, I started working at 6 clock in the morning, and finished by 4 – 4:30. This was my routine and I liked it. He isn’t an early bird and it takes him so much more time in the morning to get ready.
I would like some independence in this regard. Why should I always orient my day towards him? Because he is uncomfortable otherwise and I lack the strength to argue with him about this issue. No good reason for me.
In any case, he expects after work to rest. This is a point we often have argued about. I sleep at night and just want to use what little time between working and sleeping somehow.
At first he mainly complained that I did not leave him time to rest, but he claimed I could move and do as I want without restrictions. But in truth he still expects that I lay down with him, though it is none of my needs. And this issue is repeated about every day.
Yesterday I was able to motivate him to play a PC game . We are in the same building game, sitting next to each other, but in reality have nothing to do with each other, because the map is so large that we never will meet. I think computer games still are a waste of time, but it’s better than just lying around anyway.
How can I counteract this state? I would hope that we sit down together in the evening times and talk about the day and other topics that might just pop up. Obviously it does not work. If I want something from him, I have to make an appointment and sitting around and talking to me isn’t worth an appointment to him.
Alternatively, I have to make me more appointments with other people. I would like to meet other people more often too, but it always becomes stressful too quickly. Because the job also is exhausting and I have to stay longer because of getting up later. This is especially in the winter months a problem when it gets dark earlier and I do not want to go running in the dark.
I need to find a better activity and time management, to stop myself from getting a zombie.