Approval

Yesterday I left early to gift-wrap his birthday present. His birthday will be this weekend.

When he came, I started cooking. Some meat, vegetables in sauce and rice. Because I wanted it to look nice I pressed the rice in a pudding mould, like they do in Chinese Restaurants. He saw me and said

don’t be ridiculous

That hurts. I want to do something nice for us, and he just can’t appreciate it. He enjoyed the meal, so what is the problem.

It is like he talks things I do down, and he refuses my tenderness. I’m really thinking about going out with my friends this weekend. I need some approval, and they and even strangers will give it to me. It maybe is not the best idea to jump into the night life with my defiance, but I know the limits and I just want to be courted a little bit to make me feel better.

It seems everybody has to take care of him-/herself. I don’t like it, especially on his birthday. But he seems to be OK without me.

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