Cause and effect

We are in a kind of deadlock situation.

I gave up and he stopped searching for comfort. I can’t remember the last time we kissed. It must be a week ago. I miss him so much and I can’t stand this situation any longer.

Today is his first day at his new company. I got up before him and thought about making breakfast. But I didn’t. He never got up when I have to work and it didn’t feel right in this whole situation. Now I know it may had changed something. But why should it always be me making the first move. I’m stubborn too.

Also, there was nothing for breakfast at home. I would have had to buy something first, because he – who stayed home yesterday – didn’t think one day in the future. Maybe this day is special to him too and it is my kind of revenge because he sort of destroyed our anniversary. It is hard to say.

I also feel bad about the food shopping issue again. He let me pay for his food and eat it ALL by himself. But it may be the other way: I am annoyed and this is why the food issue became present again.

May I take some days off and visit my family. I miss him anyway and some distance can help us both. I don’t know.

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4 responses to “Cause and effect

  • abrainwithfeet

    May I just share something that I learned in the past.
    I was stubborn once. In relationships, I didn’t like to make the first move. If I felt that I was in the losing end, of if my partner did something that hurt me, I would not do anything and give her the cold shoulder. Then, one day, after a fight, we stopped talking to each other. But then, a question came to my mind.

    “Do I want to continue fighting and not talking to this person I love, or would I want to be happy again?”. When this idea came to my mind, I held on to it and ever since I would fight with my partner, I would think of this question. I would always choose to be happy with my partner. 🙂

    I hope this helps

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