Going in circles

Time is passing, but the issues stay the same, the same thoughts, the same troubles and complaints, the same obsessions with which we may can’t live after all. These days are no fun. I fold myself, lock the door, and sit around in my pajamas, rather. I’m not existent. The telephone is off as is the internet connection. Just breathing, being myself. I want to life, not only operate.
Before I will have cabin fever once again.

It seems to be a logistic master piece to get rid of him in a nice way without him being offended. I just don’t want to explain myself. Even he doesn’t my concern. He prefers to have company almost all the time. If I don’t have time he immediately calls someone else to spend time with. Some there-could-have-been-something-more-acquaintance claimed I couldn’t spend time with myself. But in fact he had a problem because I am committed that no one can do nothing. Everyone always do something, even if it is just starring in the air.
Despite this I am jealous of his mobile heater. As soon as I get up in the morning (I have to work), he turns the heater on. He replaces my. When he is angry with my, he even does this in my presence.
I don’t need that much attention or action. I like talking with friends, reading, even running is an iterating process. I prefer a safe lifestyle.
He needs the kick, the action, the challenge. And most of all attention.

This week I will have some time without him to enjoy just being alone. He is fit again and will visit his parents for a week. But he “threatened” to cancel his holiday plans, going to France for 10 tens with some sportsmen – without me. He thinks he will miss me too much. 😮

He also was at his first job interview yesterday, we both have good hope he will get the job. He talked about it over and over, but when I wanted to know what they said about his condition of just working 30 hours he sang small, he didn’t dare to ask. I am just glad and hope he will get his acceptance soon.


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