rainy boring weekend, but he is getting better

On Saturday a doctor came and he also called the doctor yesterday, because he didn’t make real progress in getting healthy again. He demanded tea and soup and entertainment. At least he obeyed some of my advises.

In the evening the had a telephone call of a friend and they talked about his job interview tomorrow. Later he complained that I ask not enough about his job search, about his ideas and his life. He told me some questions I should have asked. But I could have answered all of them myself, because we talk again and again also about his job applications and about possible jobs and everything in context with these.

Actually he wants to spend just for about 30-32 hours in the company, because he will have to travel to work which he counts as working time. I told him it is not easy to get such a job, companies look for full-time workers. In my world self-realisation should not come first before he even has got a job. We have complete different ideas of this issue, that is also why I am not eager for talking about jobs with him.

He claims there are things people just can’t. And he can’t work 38,5 hours and travel to and from work 7 hours a week. It will be too much.

I am afraid for my personal plans for the future, if he can’t get a job because of unreasonable concepts, we can’t start a family. And the other problem: if he just can’t work full-time, because he simply can’t (is not able, overstrained) – how can he take care of a child?

I told him, if you are responsible you just do your job, no matter if you can or can’t. Sometimes it is about the existence. I brought up a marathon runner as an example. A human body is not made to run that far, but if you want or must it is possible. Most people don’t have the luxury to even think about if they can, they have to. Their basic needs have to be covered, it is about existence. But he once had psychological problems and now this is his excuse for everything. I was always responsible for my siblings, for the household (may it should have my mother’s duty, but it was mine), I had no possibility to just quit, saying: I can’t.

That is why I have no understanding for his point of view and I will not fake it! That is why I will not start a discussion about his ideas of a job. If he not even wants to be responsible for his own life (he still gets money from his parents)… I don’t know. I hope this is not an issue to separate, but I can’t be generous knowing that he is to demanding to get a job.


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