2-3 weeks before I wanted to write like this:
I really enjoy giving little presents, I tend to chaperon, but “tit for tat” seems not to work and I feel not like anything coming back to me. He hasn’t even brought me anything for Valentin’s. He just “forgot” and then asked if I care. I said: if he takes care of me during the year I don’t care about this day.
When we were shopping he tried to convince me to choose some sweets, because he wanted to bring me something. But when it was to pay, he left it to me. That hurt. I shall bring myself a present.
So that’s what I do now, treat myself well, because he doesn’t.
But there are little somethings he is in need of – and I have to get them (his lump sugar, coffee, dustbin liner in the right size, his shampoo, etc.) I wish so much he will take care of these stuff himself, and additionally sometimes brings me a little something – like I do. But to act as a role model hasn’t worked yet, telling him neither.
Here an example:
He: I go shopping
Me: I want flowers
He: I would rather not have anything to do with it
But now, I opened my eyes a little wider and he also must have changed a bit, so I can write like this:
He makes a lot of effort lately, so we have a nice time and I appreciate it.
He brings unasked little somethings for me when he was shopping, he is tidy and clears his used dishes. He still doesn’t wipe the table or has changed his handling of resources, but I feel a difference.
And I also show that I am willing to compromise.