He told me I am capricious. I know it is true, especially because it was the only criticism I got by my first “real” boyfriend. The only one I ever had this “happily ever after” feeling before.
He said it because of my behaviour during his club events and because I sometimes stop in action.
The club life thing is difficult for me and he has to try to understand. It is also because my mood is easy to read. When I’m happy I’m lively, loud, full of (stupid) ideas. When I’m not I’m silent, don’t want to answer or just say “don’t know”, because it is rude, incorrect or there are other reasons not to say what I really want to do or be or say.
I also have a problem when he expects me to do all the “work”, i.e. to pet him, to cuddle. He pushes me to be the active part, while he can be lazy and enjoy. I start like a knee-jerk reaction but then I feel exploited and stop. That is what he calls “capriciousness”.
I tried to explain, to invite him to be less passive in different ways, but yet without success.
I don’t want to be capricious, but as long as the same situation ends the same way I see no change.